Abby Wynne explains why becoming ego-less might not be such a great idea…
Years ago, when I began studying psychotherapy, I also began training in shamanic practices. I wanted to explore both at once, to satisfy my soul and spirit, as well as my mind, and the two paths have led me to understand myself on a much deeper level. When I spent time in nature I felt at peace, but working with people was a totally different experience – I was very self-conscious. So why was it easier for me to connect with a tree rather than another person? The answer – my ego.
Many spiritual teachers say ‘killing the ego’ is the only way to a happy life. I’ve never liked that idea. Everything is sacred, and surely we wouldn’t have an ego if we didn’t need it? I believe it’s part of our psyche and helps us to survive in the world. I see the ego as the bridge between spirit and body – the key to understanding the relationship with ourselves and others. However, if it works against us, we have a difficult time being comfortable in our own skin.
In my psychotherapy class, I learnt about limiting beliefs and certain personality developments that influence how we see ourselves in the world. Our life experiences cause our ego to create protection mechanisms which make sure we don’t get hurt; sometimes it misreads situations and becomes faulty – but it’s only trying to help.
Spiritually we are all one, and yes, unconditional love exists, but I believe this to be true on some other plane, not here on Earth. We have a body that separates us from each other, and we can’t be completely loving all the time. I have learnt that the ego is the structure which looks after us at this level of separateness in the physical dimension. And we need it to remember who we are and to learn from our lessons and to grow. A person changes us, whereas a tree supports and loves us without question. We can have both, if we are open.
If we heal our ego and make it our friend, it will love us back. If we release limiting beliefs, instead of seeing the ego as ‘edging out God’ (as the late spiritual teacher Wayne Dyer referred to it), it will point us to where the joy is, to where the love is. That’s how we can live our best and happiest life.
Meet the expert…
Abby is a shamanic psychotherapist and energy healer. She teaches people how to reconnect to their heart.