Lisa Turner explains the truth behind the pain we often feel and how these negative feelings are a result of love. So in answer to Tina Turner’s question ‘What’s Love got to do with it?’, when it comes to emotions, the answer is – quite a lot, actually!
Did you know, when you feel a negative emotion, what you actually feel as pain is the resistance to love?
Those feelings inside are the result of your inner resistance to love. The label we give to a painful emotion refers to the way in which love is being removed from us or resisted.
Sadness comes from the loss of something or someone we love
Anger is the feeling that we were denied love
Fear is the feeling that we will lose love
Hurt is the feeling that another withheld love, or rejected our love
Guilt is the feeling that we didn’t love enough, didn’t give or show enough love
When love flows freely the feeling is good. When we give love and it is accepted and when we feel that we are loved and are able to accept it. When we don’t feel love being given and we want it, we feel it as pain.
So, how do you stop the pain?
Most people try to stop the pain by changing the outside, in other words they try to get others to change. Sometimes they even change the actual person. The problem with this is that if you still have an underlying need for love, you will likely repeat the same pattern with different people.
However if you change the inside, i.e. you alter your need to be shown or given love in a particular way, then the tension is gone. Of course, you can still choose to accept love, and enjoy being loved, without it being a need. Without the tension of that unmet need, and the accompanying painful emotions, it makes it much easier for people to love you.
Think how much easier it is to feel love towards happy, cheerful people, and how much harder it is to care for people who are resentful, needy or demanding, or who are gloomy.
Thus, once it’s no longer a need, paradoxically, you’re more likely to get it. You show more love more willingly and you receive more love.