Radical Self Love: Why I Decided To Marry Myself

Self-love is something we could all do with practising more often. Whether we hold ourselves back from achieving our dreams or constantly bring ourselves down, it’s about time we stopped. And that’s exactly what angel expert Kate Golby did. After years of being her own worst enemy and self-proclaimed biggest critic, she decided to take matters into her own hands – by marrying herself. Here she reveals her inspiring story:

I was never my biggest fan. For years, I truly was my own worst enemy – a cruel, nasty and vindictive bully to the person I should have been looking after: myself. People would tell me I was kind and lovely but I never really believed them. I’d smile and say ‘thank you’ whenever I received a compliment, but inside my inner critic would snarl sarcastically. I tried to practise self-love, telling myself countless affirmations in front of the mirror, but none of it really worked. I was becoming so tired of being my own worst enemy and I could see the negative impact it was having on my life – I just wasn’t sure what to do about it.

 I had the most wonderful day at the Hay House Angel World Summit in June this year. As well as listening to talks by some inspiring angel authors, I got to meet Kyle Gray. I’d been a huge fan of Kyle’s for a long time, so I was very exited to have the opportunity to meet him in the flesh. I pulled an Angel Prayer oracle card whilst I was with him and received the Love & Accept Yourself card. Kyle suggested that far from guiding me to act upon this card, the angels were actually giving me a huge high five for all of the work I had been doing on this big issue in my life. The angels knew how far I’d come in the last twelve months and were urging me to continue down this loving path.

On the train home, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Kyle had told me. But, rather than berating myself with my usual scorn, my inner critic was surprisingly quiet. I realised that the angels were spot on (as always!) – my self-esteem and sense of worth had increased. I began to realise that maybe I wasn’t as bad as I had originally thought I was. Maybe…dare I say it… I was even loveable just as I was? As each gem of understanding unfurled on that train ride, I could feel my soul glowing with happiness. Yes, I could accept and love myself! I’d finally had enough of all of the self-loathing;  it was time for a new chapter to begin in my life – one that was filled with love.

I’ve come to realise that self-love isn’t selfish, narcissistic or vain. People in your life, whether they be friends, lovers or even family, come and go; that’s just the nature of things. But the one person you can never get rid of, no matter how far you travel, is yourself. You’re stuck with you, no matter what you do! So, rather than spending your life hating yourself, wouldn’t it be far healthier and all round lovelier if you could try and love yourself instead? Besides, when you hate who you are, you naturally draw people into your life who treat you badly, because you subconsciously believe you don’t deserve any better. When you love the person you are, you won’t stand for any crap and and you’ll attract people who also love and respect you. It’s a win-win situation.

That’s why, in the ultimate expression of self-love, I have decided to marry myself! This isn’t a legally binding thing, nor is about any man or woman in my life; it’s just about me. By candlelight I will create a loving space for myself in which I vow to always love myself no matter what, to treat myself with the respect and honour I deserve, and to stay true to the person I am. I will also wear a beautiful ring on my right hand to symbolise this union with myself, and to remind myself just how much I’m loved should any doubt start to creep back in . No longer will I be that woman who wishes she was she was someone else – I’m fabulous just the way I am!

Read more in our September 2016 issue of Soul & Spirit magazine, out Friday 19th August. To find out more about Kate Golby, head to psychicmamma.co.uk