You can’t please people all of the time…ain’t that the truth! Find out how to release and let go, so you can feel better, with these wise words from Jo Barnard
I recently found myself in the middle of a somewhat challenging situation, trying my best to please a group of people who, quite frankly, were never going to be pleased no matter what I said or did. I was going out of my way to be helpful and considerate, when I could have quite easily focused on just pleasing myself. The harder I tried, the worse it seemed to get; and it’s hard not to take it personally when others are being rude to you.
So, if this happens to you, what can you do? Keep trying harder to please? Give up? Stomp your feet? Feel bad? Be nasty back?
The truth is, you never truly know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. How could you? And it’s only by talking things through openly do you ever really have a chance to resolve things. After all, the majority of things can be resolved by communication when both parties wish for a resolution. But, of course, this also requires compromise and the willingness to work together!
You can’t expect people to behave in a way that suits you all the time – that’s impossible; we’re all unique. But what you can do is the following:
Ask yourself what your part in the situation is. Have you tried your best? Have you acted with good intention? Are you trying to see the other person’s point of view? Are you willing to compromise? If the answer to these questions are yes, then you’re part way there! It means you are doing your best.
Is there anything you could do differently to resolve this or would the continuation of this be a further drain on your energy? Sometimes the more you do, the worse it can get. Try to look at this objectively. If you truly believe that you haven’t done your best, then trying harder might be worth a shot. Otherwise, step back.
Would it be best to detach from this situation before it gets worse? This can be a very difficult decision to make. Is this giving up? Or simply saying with love that you no longer wish to feed a negative or unhealthy situation? Sometimes you have to ‘let go and let God’, as Wayne Dyer says. After all, letting go of negativity makes space for something much more healthy and positive to grow. That’s why you prune back your trees and bushes; so why not do the same with other things in your life?
Detaching from a situation, with love, is not always easy when you like to make things better. But it’s possible nonetheless.
I’ll leave you with this thought: if you’ve acted with good intention and someone is rude or angry back at you, then perhaps, probably, almost certainly, they need a hug even more than you do. Their anger is probably not even about you. Forgive them and LET IT GO!