Logged on to your internet banking today with trepidation? Got a habit of over-spending? Don’t worry, we’ve all been there! Psychologist and spiritual coach Caroline Shola Arewa explains more…

When we want a child to stop doing something unpleasant or dangerous, the first thing we have to do is come up with something else for that child to do. You can’t successfully take something from a child without offering an attractive alternative. We may say, “Don’t play with that darling, play with this.” It’s an exchange. Adults are no different; you can’t take something away that we have become accustomed to, without first providing a replacement.

Compulsive spending is likely to be caused by the juxtaposition of a deep sense of emptiness, coupled with an innate feeling of worthiness. The resulting habit is thus a distortion of unconscious emotional behaviours. It may be a challenge but it’s certainly not impossible to change.

Caroline’s four step exchange approach

Step one: Identify what you are replacing this habit with

Replace compulsive shopping with nurturing activities like, yoga, reading spiritual books, learning to meditate, breathing exercises or other things that will add meaning to your life.

Step two: Know why you are replacing the habit

Take time to reflect on how things will improve when your compulsive spending ceases. So you will have money left over at the end of the month to use in meaningful ways. You will have greater self esteem, self control and a renewed focus. You will also have more time and improved relationships with family friends.

Step three: See yourself at the finish line

Visualise yourself in control of your life, happy, content and fulfilled.

Step four: Start taking positive actions

Step four: Start taking positive actions

Take massive action. Start your new activities, buy books and enrol a buddy for support; be ready to replace your redundant, empty spending with your new fulfilling activities. You will no longer have time to shop.