Reflect on your day with our simple steps to start thinking differently and turn that frown around…

 Pat yourself on the back

Pay attention to all events that have happened during your day, even the smallest ones. Appreciate yourself for the effort you put in to each one instead of just looking at the end results

Dissect something big into several smaller facts

Reflect on all the little things you had to do to accomplish something big and important. Run through it again and write down each component in detail – you’ll realise you’ve actually achieved quite a lot, and should feel proud

Take circumstances into account

Your mood and condition will change from day to day, so adapt your expectations of yourself to that fact. If your mood is slightly down, repeat as follows, ʻDespite being sombre, I still managed to…ʼ. This makes it easier to discover something positive

 Make it personal

Many people with low self-esteem find it hard to detect their contribution to any pleasant event that had happened that day. Ask yourself what your contribution was. Surely you had something to do with the fact that it was a great atmosphere or that others were kind to you

Block out negative self talk

When reflecting, you may feel a tendency to trivialise or give little value to positive events. This counteracts the positive, so you should focus on not doing so

Look at it another way

You should realise that there is more to life than achievements and dedication to others. Aim to focus on other areas of life the next day, such as enjoyment, assertiveness, hobbies, your relationship with your partner, sports you enjoy, laughter, relaxation and so on

Pay attention to what you find hard to do

Take note of daily inhibitions. If you find it hard to relax, for instance, you can focus on times when you did manage to relax, even if it was for a short time

Adapted from Build Your Confidence with CBT: 6 Simple Steps to be Happier, More Successful and Fulfilled by Manja de Neef (£12.99, AMAZON)

About the author

Manja de Neef has worked as a psychologist and therapist for many years. She has taught and trained in CBT techniques in the Netherlands and Belgium and is now a supervisor and consultant at the Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam