Phil Parker believes we all have the power to bring positive change to our lives. Here he shares 6 easy things you can begin to do today to get the wheels in motion and reinvent your life…
Use Your DÛ
The first thing to know is IT IS possible to reinvent yourself; in fact we consistently change behaviours, habits, likes and dislikes throughout our lives. When you think about it, very few of us hold exactly the same beliefs or expectations we had when we were three, or 13 – but often we get suckered into the idea that later on in our lives change is more difficult and we are just stuck with WHO we have become. Counteract this by using my new verb the dû, which allows us instantly to take the power back; instead of saying, for example, “I AM someone who is un-confident” replace it with the dû – which means ‘at some level I am involved in the creation of this way of being, although I didn’t really mean to’ – and say instead: “I am dûing un-confident”
Try this out now- as soon as you do a fascinating thing happens, you realise, being un-confident is not part of your make up, but consistent a choice you’ve been making over a longer time and one that you can now choose to let go of and replace with some other way of being. Notice the relief and possibility that naturally flow by using the dû in ANY situation.
Establish What You Want
Now that your future isn’t dependent on how you used to be, or more correctly what you used to dû, it’s time to ask that most important of questions “what do I want?
As you may recall from previous articles I’ve written on the subject in this magazine, avoid the negative trap that’s so easy to fall into of expressing what you want in terms of what you don’t want; so swap, ‘I don’t want to be stuck in this relationship’, which just refers to the problem and will keep you further stuck, with, ‘I want a relationship that is fulfilling, flourishing, supportive and exciting’, for example.
Have a Thought Virus Check
One of the things that will keep many people stuck and prevent change is a lack of belief in that change. Limiting beliefs work a little bit like viruses in computers and they can really screw things up. Do a quick virus check, taken from the field of NLP, by asking these important questions about your new ‘want’.
Score each one out of six, where six is ‘I totally agree’ and one ‘I don’t agree at all’
- I desire this change
- This change is possible for me
- I am capable of making this change
- This change fits with the people I hang out with
- I’m prepared to do what’s necessary to make this change
- I deserve this change
Yep, they are pretty strong powerful statements but if you really want this change you do need to seriously check out if there are any beliefs working against you, and these little beauties will usually flush them straight out into the open.
If you do find any of these are not ‘six’, then you need to get some help on solving this, as it is a little beyond the scope of an article, but so important to sort; however if the issue focuses on how other people would deal with the change, then the next section is for you.
Visualise a Magic Haddock
If you find some people seem to object to change that you wish for or seem to get in the way with their comments and opinions there’s some simple things you can do to change this. Firstly recognise you are unlikely to change them, what you need to do instead is change how you deal with their negativity.
The easiest way to do this is to use the Magic Haddock.
Picture them now in you mind, imagine about to say one of their destructive comments; then suddenly notice that unbeknownst to them a large haddock is resting on top of the head. The friendly haddock smiles at you and winks. Every time the person says anything that’s not positive and supportive the Magic Haddock on their head wiggles, giggles and winks at you.
Notice how this feels; yes, it now becomes very difficult to take anything they say seriously, and this is probably a very good thing.
Plan & Tell
Next is to create a decent, effective plan of what you are going to do and how you are going to do it – don’t fall into the trap of making such a great plan that you never have time to put into practice, you may have noticed people at school doing this with exam revision planning timetables that seem to take most of their revision time to create.
Now, tell one of your supportive friends what your plan is, tell them what they can expect to see in by when. This clarifies in your mind your plan, and makes it real; now somebody else’s involved it’s much more difficult to ignore – if you’ve chosen well the friend will also check up on you, in supportive way, and see how they can help out.
The penultimate part of this transformation is to put it into practice; you want it to be more than just a great idea, you deserve it and the world deserves it, because the happier you are the more you’ll be able to contribute to lives of others; and finally as this transformation and reinvention is all about having a happier life, make sure you have fun time as you do this; trying to create a great happy life through hardship and struggle just isn’t going work; so open the champagne, dance on the tables, and surf the wave of life…
About the author
Phil Parker is an renowned lecturer, therapist and innovator in the field of personal development. His training as a hypnotherapist, executive coach, certified master practitioner of NLP and osteopath give this book a unique perspective and provide new solutions to meet the challenges and opportunities of life in the 21st century. He’s also the author of four book,s including Get the Life You Love Now (Hay House).