7 Things You Need To Tell Your Younger Self…
Feeling stuck, unbalanced or judged by your past? It’s time to release the ties that are preventing you from moving forward. Kate Marillat explains more…
Have a think back to your 15 year old self – what would they benefit from hearing? How about your 11 year old self who is about to start secondary school? Consider yourself aged 25 –What advice would you give them? What do you wish they knew then?
For the past six years I’ve used Matrix Reimprinting and talked a lot with younger selves, both for the clients I work with and for myself. Whether it’s communicating with a scared baby in the womb to a recent tricky career situation.
Once we connect with a part of us that needs support, we use EFT/Tapping to release the trauma, evolve the emotions and understand the belief that was made at the time. It’s a team effort. A triangle of support and communication with the client in one corner, their past self in another and me, their practitioner holding the space and guiding them with love.
The changes are very clear to see. Releasing trauma from our past both consciously and energetically has huge ripples throughout our lives. When we change a belief system, and resource our younger selves they are no longer stuck and new positive behaviours can emerge.
Over the hundreds of sessions I’ve facilitated the same advice for past-selves comes up again and again. I’ve attempted to condense it into these seven points. Imagine if you could go back in time, hold the hands of your struggling selves and whisper these kind words into their ears.
You are perfect just as you are
There is nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to fix yourself, you are at a certain point on your journey and it will all change again anyway. Please love yourself for all your perfect imperfections.
There are great things ahead
After the trauma is released telling a younger self about some of the wonderful times that lie ahead can be incredibly healing. A client of mine visited her younger self who was in the midst of a messy divorce. As we tapped together she was able to share a new perspective that eventually she would become good friends with her ex-husband. This knowledge helped her past-self relax and feel positive about the future.
Exercise – Find your yin and yang
Quite often a past-self needs to shake out any tension and stuck energy. Whether that’s to let loose on a punching bag or practice yoga on a roof terrace, helping people find their yin and yang of exercise is extremely helpful. I’ve had a client who rediscovered their love of swimming and another who went on a weekend biking trip in France after seeing how much their younger self enjoyed cycling.
It’s not your fault
This is used predominantly with young children who often have a deep sense of shame when they do something ‘wrong’ or have something terrible done to them. We never deny the trauma, we comfort them and when we help them understand that it wasn’t their fault – their relief is palpable.
You are not alone
In times of trauma we feel separate and disconnected. By taking the hands of our past selves and telling them they are loved will help to release the shock, shame and fear. In this work we also bring in others to the situation, often asking their higher selves to appear and comfort the traumatised part as understandably children often want a healing hug from Mum or a close friend.
You can heal yourself
With new clients the first time we visit a past self and use tapping/EFT it can be a revelation. They see (and feel) the energy and trauma shift and want to learn the technique so that they can heal themselves and release trauma from other areas of their life. In fact, quite often during a session the past-self will take them to other past-selves that are in need of some tapping. The great thing about tapping is that once you’ve learnt it, it’s easy to apply in your day-to-day life so from this point you can heal the traumas as they arise.
What do you love doing?… Then Do THAT
Draw pictures with felt-tip pens, reading in bed with a torch, picking fruit in the summer sun, running naked through sprinklers, playing with water-guns, dancing with family members, swimming in the sea, cuddling pets, curling up with a parent on the sofa, standing under waterfalls, cycling across the alps…these are just a few of the suggestions that clients have made when they are creating a healing situation for their past-selves once the trauma has been released. It’s also good advice for any time that we need to feel joy…simply connect to a creative activity that you loved as a child and make time to do it.
About the author
Kate Marillat is a best-selling author, Matrix Reimprinting and EFT trainer. An advocate for creativity and emotional wellbeing she empowers people to live they dream of by making these components a priority. Kate facilitates creativity workshops, dynamic online writing classes and personal transformation sessions.
