Try as we may to create a harmonious living environment, disagreements and tensions do arise – even The Brady Bunch had their fair share of troubles. That said, many fall-outs that occur behind closed doors could be avoided, and without a massive life-change – just a few tweaks here and there. Establish a little more zen today, with Nick Seneca Jankel’s advice.
1 When it is time to be with your loved ones, be present with them
That means no phones (or Crackberrys, as I like to call them), laptops and newspapers. All they want is your attention. So, switch off the screens and switch on your conscious attention. The more you connect with them, the more peaceful everyone (including you) will become
2 When relatives have a worry, issue or concern, really listen to it before offering a solution
A great way to do that is to ‘mirror’ back what they have said to them and watch them relax as you do this. It works for kids and adults, alike!
Nothing causes more upset than promises that go undelivered. So, if you say you will do something, actually do it. If you realise you can buy that tablet or be home straight after work, have the courage to be honest. And when you are, listen to the emotions and opinions of others with respect
4 Speak for yourself not for the world
If you don’t like something someone does, own your opinion rather than pretending it is true for everyone. This way relatives get to disagree without being shamed. When people feel respected and not shamed, they stay open-hearted and open-minded
Meet the author
Nick Seneca Jankel is a leading Cambridge-educated psychological coach and author of SWITCH ON.