Relationships are the number one way we grow as souls and break ups have got to be the most challenging part of it, especially when a soul mate is involved. If you’re recovering from the ending of a significant relationship, or just want to give yourself some extra loving, Rebecca Campbell shares some great ways to heal a broken heart.
Remind yourself that your soul is growing in leaps and bounds
Our soul grows the most when it is cracked open. The more pain you are in, the bigger the opportunity for growth. Soul mate relationships don’t have to be forever. In fact, quite often a soul mate makes an agreement to come into your life for a defined period of time to help you grow. The ending can be extremely painful, but it can also teach us a tremendous amount. If the relationship didn’t work out it doesn’t mean it’s from lack of love, rather the relationship has played its pivotal role in your own soul’s growth.
Feel it all
In order for healing to happen, you need to feel your feelings instead of push them down (if you push them down, they’ll come back to bite you down the track). If you are busy and need to get on with things during the day, put aside at least 10 minutes aside each day to let your feelings bubble up without judgment. Journaling is a powerful tool. Plain old crying is good too.
Get yourself some rose oil…
It’s a-mazing for a heavy heart
You’ll only need the tiniest bit on your finger (less than a drop). Massage onto the front and back of your heart, solar plexus and throat every morning. It’ll encourage your heart to stay open instead of closing up.
Put your passion into a passion project
Endings are invitations for a new beginning. If you have something you’ve always wanted to do, create or share, now’s the time to do it. The best creations were born out of a seeming loss. This website is one of them.
Buy yourself flowers
Peonies are the best healers. I think they might actually have magical powers. Watching them courageously open and then open some more will encourage your heart to do the same. If you can’t find peonies, pink roses are wonderfully healing too. Surround yourself with them. If you can only afford one stem, put it by your bed or on your desk and let this beautiful gift from nature work its magic.
Fill your surroundings with rose quartz
Sigh… it’s just so good.
Like rose oil this baby is great for protecting your heart in a strong yet gentle way. Put it under your pillow while you sleep, on your bedside table, on your window sill, on your desk at work, get a rose quartz pendant to hang near your heart. When anyone of my friends goes through a dark night of the soul, rose quartz is one of the first things I give them.
Make a lovables list
Write a list of all the things that are awesome about you. At the top of the page write “[insert name here]’s Lovables”. Number 1-20 and fill it out. Read your Lovables daily. Especially when doubting or feeling sorry for yourself.
Listen to this podcast
Turn your bedroom into a sacred place
Go to sleep with the warm light of electronic candles, fairy lights glowing and three drops of lavender essential oil on your pillow. Don’t forget to stretch out and delight in all of that extra space.
Get a yourself a nanna blanket
Do not underestimate the power of this one. I bought myself a second hand baby pink hand made vintage nanna blanket from Colunbia Rd flower markets in 2011 after the end of my 11 year long relationship. Wrapping myself in it was so nurturing and healing. Inner child healing central.
Un-friend, block, delete
Agree on a set time for you and your ex to cease all contact. 6 months is a good amount of time to rediscover yourself individually from them. If you plan on being friends again you’ll both need time apart to redefine the energy and give your future friendship its best shot.
Clear your physical space by burning a sage smudge stick
Your soundtrack to this part is Beyonce’s To the left, to the left
Physical objects hold energetic ties and if you are wanting to move on, you don’t want that stuff in your space. As hard as it is, give your whole house (especially the bedroom) an overhaul. Chuck out whatever does not make you feel good and anything that makes you miss the relationship. Cut those cords, babes. It might be hard, but it’s easier than holding on.
Create a Spotify playlist
Dance it out! I recommend Florence, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Fleetwood, Janis and Alanis. If a love song comes on, sing it to yourself.
We are pack animals, we are not meant to go at it alone. When a relationship ends one of the things we lose is the constant human touch. When your friends and family ask you what they can do, instead of answering ‘nothing’, ask them for a hug. It makes a difference. If you can’t think of anyone to hug, hang out with a kid and ask them for one. They give the best hugs ever!
Buy an ‘I love me’ ring
Buy yourself a ring that symbolizes the love you have for yourself, or hope to have with yourself. You could even write vows to yourself and your healing. Think of it as a union with your soul. A-freaking-men!
Let people look after you
The fact of the matter is that when you are in mourning, there is nothing that anyone can do to make it better. But they can make you a cup of tea or dinner, or watch Sister Act 1 and 2. Don’t deny them that gift, let them hang and look after you.
Write a reasons why list
Write a list of all the reasons why your previous relationship did not work. Read daily. Refer to list before texting the ex.
Ask for support
Your best friends will want to support you but most won’t know how. Instead of waiting for them to read your mind, get clear on what you need to feel supported and speak up.
Meditate your way to higher love
Transform your heartbreak into higher love with the power of meditation. My Sourcing meditation (get a free copy here) is brilliant for this as it lets you be cradled and loved up by The Universe. And who doesn’t need a bit of cradling.
When our body is in shock or severe grief we stop breathing. It’s our body’s way of shutting down and rejecting what we are experiencing. Call back in life force by opening your mouth as wide as possible and breathing a deep breath to the bottom of your belly. Repeat. One breath at a time.
Get to know yourself
The secret blessing about breakups is that they are actually an invitation to work on the most important relationship you will ever have… The relationship with yourself. Take yourself to dinner, the movies or cook yourself your favourite meal. Learn to enjoy your own company. If you do, everyone else will too.
Remember that you are awesome…
becoming even more awesome and that the way you feel now will not last forever. This is just the bit that comes before things get amazing. The kinder and more true to yourself you are now, the better it will be in the end. If it’s difficult, at least you know that your soul is growing and that you’re becoming even stronger than before. You can do this.
About the author
Rebecca Campbell is author of the new Hay House book Light Is The New Black: A Guide to Answering Your Soul’s Callings and Working Your Light. She is a grounded intuitive spiritual mentor, practical intuitive guide, inspirational speaker and teacher. She writes every week over at her website and teaches regularly in London.