Giving and receiving love is one of our deepest human needs – in fact, it’s such a powerful need that it can drive people into the wrong relationship. Absurd as it may sound to suggest that anyone would select a life partner less carefully than they do their pet, it does happen. All the time…
Why does it happen?
Mostly it happens because we don’t have clear ideas about the relationship we are looking for. We may be able to visualise our preferred aspirational lifestyle – the home, the holidays, the leisure time and activities – but we don’t really know how we want to feel around our partner. We haven’t got a handle on our ideal ‘emotional climate’. Instead we tell ourselves stories about what happens in relationships and how you ‘have to work hard at relationships’.
We do our best to be happy in our relationships
If we struggle, it may be because we just didn’t know how to make better choices, and we accept worse behavior from a partner than we receive from your dog. Annie Kaszina Ph.D., leading relationship expert and author of Do You Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband?, has identified 20 signs that confirm you picked your dog more wisely. If you can’t say as much for your man as you can for your dog, then something went wrong with your partner selection process.
The person who you know you’ll always get a warm welcome from is… your dog.
The person you look forward to snuggling up with at the end of the day is… your dog.
When you look at your dog you’re always amazed how beautiful and cute he or she is. When you look at your partner you find yourself thinking that that’s not the person you fell in love with.
You spend more time talking enthusiastically about your dog than your partner to other people.
Your friends and family all LOVE your dog. They’re less comfortable around your partner. It is much easier to get your dog’s undivided attention than it is your partner’s.
Your dog never takes you for granted. Your dog just loves and appreciates everything you do for him.
You can trust your dog to behave nicely around everybody – even other dogs.
Your dog is properly house-trained.
Your dog’s only bad habits are rolling in fox poo and jumping all over you when he or she is wet and smelly. Unattractive as these may be, they beat having a drink, drugs or pornography habit or cheating, hands down.
Your dog is always there for you. In fact, your dog makes you feel like you’re the centre of his or her world.
When you think about your dog you always feel that warm glow. When you think about your partner, the phrase ‘it’s difficult’ springs to mind.
You’re never bored when you’re with your dog.
Your dog doesn’t have ‘anger issues’, or unresolved issues with his parents, siblings, or exes.
Your dog doesn’t bark at you when you make an honest mistake.
Your dog doesn’t do ‘complicated’. He or she is easy to be around and gives a lot of joy.
Your dog is easy to please. He or she doesn’t expect you to jump through hoops for him or her.
Your dog doesn’t have a hidden agenda. He, or she, just wants to love and be loved.
Your dog doesn’t have a problem with your spirituality. He or she is perfectly happy for you to have your own beliefs and your own life.
You don’t have to make apologies for your dog because he or she has had a bad day. With your dog you never have to walk on egg-shells.
Your dog is easy to love.
If these signs resonate with you, all is not lost. First, give yourself a pat on the back for your honesty. Then rejoice: if you can choose – and train – your pooch intelligently, you can apply that same emotional intelligence to creating your perfect relationship. You can even use these insights to transform your existing relationship.
About the author
Annie Kaszina Ph.D., author of Do You Choose Your Man More Carefully Than Your Husband, was a long-term relationship disaster, until she discovered she had chosen her dog more carefully than her husband. Now a women’s relationship expert, she’s spent 10 years teaching women how they can own their own amazingness, and enjoy lasting happiness.
Pssst… Fancy a free read? Annie is offering all Soul & Spirit readers a free chapter of her multi-award-winning, here.