We’ve all experienced the dull ache of heartbreak. Happily, Radleigh Valentine is on hand to share 11 powerful affirmations that’ll soothe your woes and help you to become fiercer than ever!
Oh honey, I just heard. It’s over, isn’t it? I am so very, very sorry. Please believe me when I say that my heart truly goes out to you… Unless you wanted it to be over (in which case, I’m proud of you for taking control). But no matter how the relationship ended, you do know that you’re going to need to heal, right?
You know what? I’ve got these affirmations that I used after my last breakup. They really helped me. Would you like to hear them?
What are affirmations?
Oh. Well, they’re like mantras. They’re things you say to yourself to keep you headed in the right direction. Once the initial heartache and the crying (and the many gallons of ice cream) are finished, you’re going to need to refocus your thoughts. No spiralling downwards for you. No way. You’re better than that. We’re not going to let you do that.
And don’t you dare start thinking no one will ever love you again. There’s happiness out there waiting for you. What’s that you say? It’s hard to think positive at a time like this? I know honey. But you’re strong. You can do this. Let’s get started.
1 I forgive my ex
Ok, so let’s just get this one over with. Holding on to unforgiveness towards your ex is basically the same as holding onto your ex. And who wants that?
In order for you to move forward, you’re going to have to release them. I’m not saying you can’t still be angry for a while. Take all the time you need. But each time you feel those emotions, just remind yourself that’s it’s their loss, forgive them again, and then go buy yourself something nice.
2 I forgive myself
This is sometimes even more important than forgiving your ex. And maybe you don’t feel the need to forgive yourself. If not, that’s great! But if you’re blaming yourself, and doing the whole “coulda, shoulda, woulda” tap dance, you’ve got to let that go. You did the very best you could at the time. Thinking and then rethinking about all the things you “shoulda” done differently is absolutely counter-productive. Stop that. Repeat after me “I forgive myself.” Repeat as often as necessary until you believe it.
3 I will heal from this
You will. I promise, you really, really will. It’s going to take a little time. But you will heal and you will go on with your life. You will laugh and experience happiness and dance in the rain (unless you don’t like getting wet in which case you can skip that last part0. My point is just that if you have even the slightest idea that you’re ruined forever and joy will never find you again… well… that’s just not true.
4 This happened for a reason
Yes, yes. I know. (And I saw you roll your eyes just now.) But honey, that’s not just a cliché. It’s truth. Real TRUTH. You’ve learned a lot from this experience. You now know a great deal about what you do and do not want in a relationship. At the perfect time, you will assess what was good and what was bad about the time you spent together. You will not romanticize the past nor will you make it worse than it was in your mind. You’ll see it clearly. And when you do, you’ll know exactly what you want in a relationship in the future. And that is exactly what you’ll attract.
5 There is something better waiting for me
You are a joy magnet. Did you know that? Well you are. Every experience you have is just the Universe (or Source or God or the Divine – you pick the name) pushing you towards greater and greater joy. But what about your ex? Oh honey, puh-lease! That was just a practice run helping you to up your game. You haven’t seen anything yet! With all you’ve learned? Well the next go round is only going to be ten times better! And speaking of all you’ve learned…
6 I will be better than I’ve ever been before
What you’ve learned about yourself from this relationship is going to serve you for the rest of your life. Once the healing has happened you are going to shine like never before! You’ll be wiser, funnier, and more charming than you’ve ever been. You’ll be a better friend to those you love, a better partner in your next romance, and hopefully a whole lot kinder to yourself.
7 I release the past
Let it go. Don’t hold on to what was. You don’t want to repeat this experience. Holding onto the past is like begging to experience it again. Give gratitude to Source for the amazing person that you are and turn your eyes to the future. Onwards and upwards, dearie. Onwards and upwards.
8 I am completely whole and perfect by myself
No, no! I saw where your mind just went! Don’t start thinking that means you’re going to be alone forever – that’s not what I said. What I’m saying is that for now, you are fine. You don’t need someone else to complete you. You are perfectly capable of getting up every morning and making the world a better place for yourself and others. During your time of healing and being single, you will embrace experiences that are self-loving and uplifting. Being single is not just a space of time between relationships. It’s a time to celebrate you. To experience how amazing you are. Throw yourself a party. Actually, no – be the party!
9 I am infinitely deserving of love
There’s an old saying that ‘nature abhors a vacuum’. What that means is that the Universe will always fill up an empty space. And while your heart may feel empty right now, that won’t last. You have an amazing capacity to love. You do! And the Universe isn’t going to let that just sit there and go to waste! Are you kidding me? No matter what you’ve been through, you are a beautiful, amazing, shining child of God. You are totally deserving of love.
10 I trust myself
Okay, so maybe that last partner you chose was a real loser. (Truth be told, the one before that was kind of a jerk, too, but let’s not go there…) So what? We all make choices that seem like mistakes at one time or another. And what’s a mistake anyway? Maybe that crazy ex of yours was necessary so that you could learn all you needed to learn in order to be irresistible to the perfect partner in your future! The Divine within you is helping you to create a magical, perfect life. You can trust you.
11 I will love again
You will. You absolutely will. I know it might not seem like it right now, but trust me you’re going to be so amazing once you’re gotten through this that you’ll be like a shining beacon to the partner of your dreams! Even if you don’t want another relationship (I mean like EVER!!) you will learn to love yourself better than ever before. If you want romance, it will find you.
And I’ll be standing there cheering you on.
About the Author
Radleigh Valentine is an internationally known speaker, teacher, and radio show host. He has published many projects with Hay House Publishing including the best-selling Angel Tarot Cards and The Big Book of Angel Tarot.