Bag a first degree in flirting with these fool-proof body language tricks to get your guy…
You’ve found your dream man, but there’s only one problem – how do you make your move? Avoid rejection with these 11 simple unconscious tricks to make him putty in your hands without you saying a word!
1 Dress to impress Firstly, never look desperate or predatory. We’ve all been there, guilty of over-kill as we swap our normal workplace kit for something that Kat Slater would turn her nose up at. Guys arrive with one too many shirt buttons undone, clutching plastic mistletoe, and women suddenly opt for fishnets and cleavage in a bid to show their raunchier side. Dress up by all means but err on the side of subtle, as it’s not your outfit, but your body language that will do most of the effective flirting, and you need to dress in a way that will make you feel and look confident.
2 Be present Avoid trying to look cool by using your phone or reading or sending texts while you’re with him. There’s teasing and playing, and then there’s showing utter disinterest and being rude. Doing this implies there’s somewhere else you’d rather be.
3 Walk tall Plan your entrance. Hit the ground running, rather than warm up slowly. Your intentional gestures as you arrive will mark you out as
approachable and fun, but not if you walk in looking anxious or shy. Take a moment before you enter, pull up to full height, roll your shoulders back and down and relax your facial expression so you’re wearing an ‘eye-smile’, meaning a look in your eyes that says you’re happy, confident and looking forward to the event.
4 Open up Avoid the ‘stay away signals’. It’s easy to send out subliminal rejection vibes without realising it. So make sure you don’t arrive or stand with your arms wound around your body, or your elbows tight into your waist in a self-hug gesture. Keep your elbows pushed a few inches out from your waist and make sure you hold your wine glass at rib height. Any higher and it will look like you’re using it as a barrier.
5 Mirror image When you spot The One, begin indulging in some subtle mirroring. This means angling yourself so you’re standing facing
them, even though you’re across the proverbial ‘crowded room’. Chat to your own group, but mimic his pace of movement and form of gesticulation. This creates rapport from a distance, even if he doesn’t seem to be looking.
6 Friend booster Show off your flirting signals with the help of your pals. Avoid getting loud in a bid to catch his eye (that super loud laugh you used as a teenager? It can still return to haunt you!). Use good listening skills when your group is chatting and join in the laughter to look sociable and popular. Keep your posture upright, and avoid leaning into your group, however, as it can make you look overattached to them, or even as though you’re laughing at other people.
7 Eye him up Use your eyes to flirt. They really are the very best tool in your flirting toolkit. Catch his eye and hold the gaze a second longer than normal, glance down with a smile and then look back up again. When you’re talking to him, gradually increase your eye attention until you’re using intense eye contact (but not staring!). Look into his eyes as you listen to him talk, then do the killer ‘eye flick’. This means letting your peepers flick down to his mouth and then back up to his eyes. Increase this technique as the conversation goes on and (at some point) smile gently as you look at his mouth, which will signal a subliminal desire to kiss.
8 Attention! Aim to get his exclusive attention. Avoid being too pushy, but at some point suggest the music is too loud and touch his elbow to steer him away to a quieter spot. Never use possessive, territorial gestures like picking a hair off his jacket, or touching his face, as this will feel and look like overkill.
9 Be a foodie Share food. Eating is one of the most pseudo-sexual rituals and eating together can accelerate intimacy, especially if you share your food at some point. If you suggest he tries your canapé, just pass it to him if you’re feeling anxious, but if you think your flirting is already working, then hold it and let him bite a bit off instead.
10 Practice your swagger Killer heels might make your legs look sexier, but work on your walk. Slinking off to the loo or the bar while he’s watching can be a great way to flirt, but only if you slink, rather than teeter. However you can also bite the emancipation bullet and use the heels as an excuse to touch once the party is over. Walking in heels means you can instigate an arm-hold for balance, without looking too obvious about your goal of getting closer and snuggling up!